Rule #1: Monkeys Are Always Funny

The Rally Monkey is a strange phenomenon. On the one hand, monkeys are always funny (that’s my number 1 rule of comedy). On the other hand, when a team’s mascot becomes more important than the product on the field, something is amiss. Oh, wait–you said the team was owned by Disney? Well, that explains everything, including the Mickey Mouse brand of baseball the Anaheim Angels have been playing lately.

Angels players apparently griped that the Rally Monkey was overhyped, so when the monkey failed to materialize in the midst of a potential rally, young fans were disappointed. A few days later, when the club celebrated the Monkey’s first birthday with promotional clips every half-inning (!), the players promptly got thumped, and pitcher Jarrod Washburn blamed the circus surrounding their lower primate. The team responded by suggesting Washburn go tell it to the Bobble-Head Doll.

Note to Washburn: To catch the Mariners, you’re going to need a Rally Monkey the size of King Kong.