Reader Chris G. passed along a funny article about itinerant reliever Todd Jones, now with the Cincinnati Reds. Recall that Jones’ most notable accomplishment last season — besides drawing a $3 million paycheck for 68.2 innings of 7.08 ERA ball — was (to paraphrase Jim Bouton) revealing himself to be as smart as his ERA. Commenting on the Broadway show Take Me Out, the reliever gained notoriety last April for shooting his mouth off about the possibility of an openly gay ballplayer in the majors:

“I wouldn’t want a gay guy being around me,” Todd Jones told [the Denver Post]. “It’s got nothing to do with me being scared. That’s the problem: All these people say he’s got all these rights. Yeah, he’s got rights or whatever, but he shouldn’t walk around proud. It’s like he’s rubbing it in our face. ‘See me, Hear me roar.’ We’re not trying to be close-minded, but then again, why be confrontational when you don’t really have to be?”

…Jones also said in the story that the player better be good “Because if (the team) thinks for one minute he’s disrupting the clubhouse — if he doesn’t hit 50 homers or win 20 games — they’re not going to put up with that.”

After his homophobic comments made John Rocker-style headlines, Jones issued a half-assed apology but didn’t back off his remarks. Released a couple of months later after posting an 8.24 ERA, he bounced from the Rockies to the Red Sox and continued to struggle. This spring, he went to camp with the Devil Rays but was released late in March and subsequently caught on with the Reds.

He must be more comfortable around his new teammates, because this Hal McCoy article in the Dayton Daily News reveals… well, everything:

There are a million stories in The Naked Clubhouse, with Todd Jones behind most of them…

The sound of a baseball thwacking into gloves echoed from the hallway leading to the showers in the Citizens Bank Park visitors clubhouse Wednesday afternoon.

Cincinnati Reds first baseman Sean Casey peered around a corner, spotted what was going on, then said, “Get my camera. I have to take a shot of this.”

The naked truth: It was relief pitchers Jones and Brian Reith. Playing catch in a shower hall

was strange enough, but Jones and Reith were as naked as the day they were born, except for baseball gloves.

“Just getting our work in,” said Jones, clearly the team’s bullpen stand-up and sit-down comedian.

…Jones, a veteran who has had success in the bullpen as a closer and a set-up guy, is the type of personality a young team needs, a guy who makes everybody laugh.

Insert punchline here:

A) The reliever is turning the other cheek

B) He’s turning over a new fig leaf

C) Those in glass houses shouldn’t throw naked

D) Nothing wrong with two men being naked in the clubhouse shower so long as they’re “working,” but the moment they start “rubbing it in” faces, it becomes a problem

Reader Chris takes Jones to task, writing, “I’m glad Jones isn’t ‘gay.’ If he was, he’d actually have to perform (i.e. ‘hit 50 homers or win 20 games’). Since he’s obviously ‘heterosexual,’ his nude cavorting isn’t ‘disrupting the clubhouse’ and guys will ‘put up with that.'” But I’m inclined to laugh this one off, hoping that Jones has gained some enlightenment and that the next time the reliever shoots his mouth off, somebody’s got incriminating photos of The Infamous Todd Jones Shower Scene.

* * *

Elsewhere in this major-league version of News of the Weird, Jon Weisman provided an update to earlier reports about former Dodger and Yankee outfielder Raul Mondesi’s woes. Back in 1998, Mondesi was sued by former futility infielder Mario Guerrero, who claims that he was promised one percent — now roughly $640,000 — of Raul’s future earnings for helping him improve his baseball skills. In February, a Dominican court ruled in Guerrero’s favor, and Mondesi subsequently appealed the ruling. But the court ordered his bank account frozen, and his current employer, the Pittsburgh Pirates, has decided to withhold his pay until the dispute is resolved.

Said Mondesi: “I have no agreement with Guerrero, and he never taught me anything. I’m not going to give him a cent of my money.” The stubborn Mondy may be onto something, as he’s spent his entire career showing that apart from his great natural talents, he’s unwilling to learn how to control the strike zone, how to stay in shape, or how to win friends and influence people. After earning $44.5 million over the past five seasons, he’s currently playing for a paltry $1.15 million in Pittsburgh. While acknowledging the ridiculous interpretation of the court’s ruling regarding his frozen assets, I’m just hoping that Raul stuffed some of those millions under his mattress.

In all seriousness, Weisman’s got an interesting email from Dominican baseball writer and broadcaster Carlos Lugo, who’s covered the country’s Winter League for Baseball Prospectus. As Lugo wrote:

What’s in the background of this (not specifically in this case in particular but in general) I think is more interesting. Our country is transformed into a baseball player factory or some sort of assembly line. Everywhere you can see young kids playing ball, and the sad part is that they’re not exactly playing for the fun of it (as I did and as you did) but trying to become professional baseball players.

As a consequence, an informal industry has arisen around the MLB teams academies and operations. The lack of a more formal or structured development chain – like school or little leagues in the U.S. – resulted in some kind of “informal development chain” that started in disorganized little league teams, where the “coach” gave the basic training to the kids until they approached 15 to 17 years of age, an age when they show if they’re signable…

These “coaches” are the first ones looking for some sort of “return on investment,” and what they’re doing lately is signing some sort of formal contract where they get the player to share one fraction of their signing bonuses, or, if they’re as wise and lucky as Guerrero, hit the jackpot with a guy that eventually make it to the big leagues and becomes a regular player.

Lugo also told Weisman that in Mondesi’s case, such a formal contract actually exists, which explains why Mondy’s been getting his fat ass kicked in court. Lugo’s comments are worth checking out, as there are some fascinating and serious issues lying below the superficial schadenfreude I feel towards a player who’s pissed me off to no end while playing for the two teams whose caps I wear.